Skip to content

The Problem with Valentine’s Day

2011 February 11
by The Marriage Coach

Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.

I don’t really like Valentines Day.  Ok, there I’ve said it.  Well, it’s not that I hate it altogether.  I just have a problem with what I call ‘Valentine’s Pressure’.  Every guy reading this knows exactly what I’m talking about.  It starts around the beginning of February or maybe even earlier.

You see, that’s when you notice that the cards and candy have hit the stores.  So immediately you start thinking about what to get your wife.  Flowers?  Nope, every guy does that.  Candy?  I don’t think so, at our house we still have chocolate kisses and candy canes left over from Christmas.

And so the question stays with you for several weeks.  How can I let my wife know how much I love and appreciate her?  One thing’s for sure, whatever it is, it has to be better than last year.  That’s just how it works and therein lies the problem…and the pressure.

Valentine’s can begin to feel forced and well, you can say lots of things about love but one thing’s for sure, it shouldn’t be forced.  And I can tell you, considering all that my wife puts up with from me, expressing my love to her with flowers or chocolate one day a year just doesn’t cut it.  She deserves more.  (Yes, you guessed it, this is the part where I suck up to my wife for saying that I don’t like Valentine’s Day!)

What I’m trying to say is that I hope and pray that I express my love to my wife every day and not just on those ‘Hallmark Holidays’ when I’m ‘supposed’ to express it.  Our spouses need to know that we still believe in them…every day.  They need to know that we’d marry them all over again and that there are thousands of things that we love about them…every day.

So if you want to give your spouse an incredible Valentine’s gift, give them that.  Sure, go to dinner, shower them with flowers and chocolate if that’s what they like but also recommit yourself to expressing your love to them on the other 364 days of the year.  Use post it notes, texts, cards…whatever it takes.  If all else fails, try just telling them what you love and appreciate about them…every day.  Then they’ll know that you’re not just saying it on the one day that you’re supposed to.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

p.s.  If you and your spouse still haven’t taken the MyMarriageCoach quiz, I invite you to take a few minutes and take it together.  I honestly believe that it’s one of the best things that you can do for your marriage.  It analyzes 10 different areas of your marriage, reveals how you both view your relationship, calculates your marriage score, and then recommends several resources that you can use to deal with the weak spots.  Talk about a great way to let your spouse know that you really care this Valentine’s Day!

Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.  Gifts for valentine’s day.

No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS